onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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