These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
