So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
