Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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