I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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