21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
