I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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