Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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