He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
