dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
