the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think I sprained my soul last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
