Where is the hickey?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
