Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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