I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
