You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
