I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
