Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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