Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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