lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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