Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
