he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
