I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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