I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
