its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
