I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
