my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
