idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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