Already got asked if we're dating
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
