This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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