im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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