hotel room ftw
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
