I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
