I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
