ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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