if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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