Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
