you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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