Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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