I can tuck mytits in my pants
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
