I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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