Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
