I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
