i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
