in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
