I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
