Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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