you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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