So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so let's talk penis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
