spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm like, not good at living.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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