what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
