i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
