my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
